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Q: You're personally to blame for every bad thing that ever happened, and should tear off your own arm and beat yourself to death with it.

We hate you and you're terrible; you have offensive personal odor and an onion-loving mother.

A: Thank you! I'll be here all night, ladies and germs! Tip your waitress.

Q: "Ain't nothin' in the middle of the road but yellow stripes and dead armadillos."

A: That's one thing. What about a sandwich or a pencil, know what I mean?

Or like how some things have inedible centers, like a peach, and some have edible centers only, like a push-freeze.

This isn't some new perfect thing, either - there's gonna be a "too moderate" just like there's a "too liberal" or "too conservative" ... We're always thinking about being "too moderate", but contact us, shoot...

Q: What's your goal here?

A: To come within a hundred miles of it. I think like golf. Get the sucker in the hole eventually. "Just tap it in, just tap it in! Give it a little tappy! Tap-tap, tap-a-roo!"

The thing is, we needed something. For folks who aren't just conservative or liberal. More to raise our kids up in, because we didn't have the option. Didn't want to be a liberal or a conservative. If it goes further, hey.

I'm terrified of my own ego and temper, and yours, too. I found this thing-a-ma-bob, and I'm trying to do it some justice.

If I'm messing it up, I need to know. This thing changes all the time because of feedback.

"Go to your home! Don't you wanna go to your home? Are you too good for your home?"

Q: Well, then, you should change it to my opinion about this or that! Tyrant!

A: I know, I know.

I'm being a jerk to keep it from derailing into a shouting match about who's the most moderate-est, if that's okay. I will learn from anybody; I think people have complementary perspectives. I'm doing my best to "find that sweet spot," and I pray about it all the time. Fair?

Anyways, I'm hoping you're going to gloss over my massive ego and focus on the good stuff.

Q: Doesn't it just raise a bunch of questions?

A: No, you get used to it. Questions don't take like forever and ever. You get familiar and all. It's like a balance board?

Balance, youngling!

You grow up, you get a job, you do right by someone, maybe a couple rug-rats, have fun on the weekend...

Gravity is down; it's not like it's up... the world is the world, it's not like this stuff is going away.

So, you balance the budget, you protect freedoms, make the world "a wonder to God..." roads and waterworks, you keep the population/job numbers stable, keep the water and air clean and the temperature set at 72 degrees... United we stand!

Q: Who are you. Who are you. Pal. Hey, pal.

A: Uh... An accordion-monkey?

No, I get it, you figure I'm scary. Some ego-maniac.

Sure, maybe, but... look, I dunno, you would have had to be there?

This is my "hobby for God," kind of, if that helps. All I do 24/7 is pray about the thing.

Anyways... TMI, TMI... I'm kind of a Traveling Matt who landed in coastal Texas. I'm an apprentice carpenter; used to work in computers. I have a beautiful wife and 3 kids. I, uh... play old Super Nintendo games... watch movies, hang out... *cough cough mind your own beeswax* :D

Anyhoo... I hope you'll look at the idea, instead of making it about me... If you love it or hate it, just figure me for some schmuck... I'd feel like such a screw-up...

copy left out overnight with gross roaches